Ø My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can on FaceBook.
Ø Why did Saif Ali Khan punch the NRI businessman?
He forgot the Amul Macho underwear punchline so he used a punch instead.
Ø Human brain is the most outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stops only when we enter the examination hall.
Ø Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikanth was approached for the movie Mission Impossible but Rajnikanth refused as he found the title insulting.
Ø What's common between clouds and wife?
When both are not around, we call it a bright day.
Ø Enter PASSWORD to touch my heart;
You have touched my feet.
Anyway, God Bless You!
Ø Pappu: Daddy, what's gay?
Santa: It means happy.
Pappu: Are you gay?
Santa: No, I married your mother.
Ø Man outside phone booth: Excuse me, you have been holding the phone for more than 45 minutes and you haven't spoken even a single word.
Man inside: Sir I'm talking to my wife.
Ø Why didn`t Rajnikanth become a Cricketer or a Footballer?
Bcoz only the fans of these games follow them whereas the Indians all over the world follow Rajnikanth.
Ø Why is Rajnikanth dark-complexioned?
Bcoz he is the only one surviving from dark ages.
Ø They say so many people die because of alcohol..
Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
Ø Man meets friend and notices he's wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings?
Friend: Ever since my wife found it in my car.
Ø What is old age?
When you start turning off lights for economical reasons rather than romantic reasons.
Ø My Wife treats me like GOD!
She takes NO notice of my Existence till she wants Something.
Ø Similarity between FACEBOOK & JAIL:
In both cases people sit, waste time and write on Walls!
Ø One of the best feelings in the world is when you're hugging the person you love;
And the other you love, hugs you even tighter!
Ø Modern Style wedding:
Pujari: Do u both agree to change your Facebook status to married?
Couple: Yes, we do.
Pujari: Vivaah Sampann!
Ø Lady to host: Where has the beautiful girl gone who was serving drinks?
Host: Why, you want a drink?
Lady: No, I want my husband.
Ø Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
A: When she starts her sentence with, 'My husband told me.'
Ø An intelligent wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can't afford another women.
Ø How do friends help in problems?
They give the most stupid suggestion that makes us laugh & forget the problem.
Ø Never make the same mistake twice.
There are so many new ones,
Try a different one each day.
Ø Marriage Age 18.
Drinking Age 25.
Can someone ask the damn politicians how to survive the first 7 years of Marriage?
Ø Rajnikanth doesn`t pay attention, attention pays him.
Ø Galileo used lamp to study, Graham Bell used candle to study & Shakespeare studied in street light but do u know about Rajnikanth? -Only agarbatti.